My youngest son is Autistic. In fact he is one of the main reasons why I retrained to become a holistic therapist. I changed career because I wanted to do something that would work around my family and their many needs but also because my son loves a massage. Specifically a deep pressure massage.

My son has complex needs which include sensory differences as well as challenges with emotional regulation. Massage, as any massage fan, knows is incredibly relaxing but for my son it has dual benefits. Not only does it help him calm down when things have become too much but it also helps him to (in his words!) ‘feel the edges of his body’.

In sensory terms this is because my son is always looking for proprioceptive input. This can look like crashing into things, jumping off the sofa, leaning on me (or anyone who happens to be nearby) or rolling on the floor. He can be at his most sensory seeking when he is overstimulated or distressed. This is when I try to jump in with what he calls ‘squishes’. Sometimes this can come in the form of a weighted blanket, sometimes rolling him tightly in a blanket, sometimes we use a pressure sock, or rolling the yoga ball over him. But the favourite, of course, is a deep pressure massage.

In my mind this is more of a shiatsu type massage where rather than rubbing I am applying squeezes to his limbs over his clothes. This is definitely not with oil, which he would hate as he doesn’t like anything on his skin – another sensory difference! Massage has the immediate effect of calming him down and we will often do this before bed. I try to squeeze in extra bits of massage whenever I can, I squeeze his feet before I put socks on, I press on his shoulders before I wash his hair. These little moments help him to regulate before he has to do something he finds challenging. But they also provide us with lovely moments of connection.

Now his siblings also know that ‘squishes’ can help him to regulate and I will often find his older brother or sister giving him huge bear hugs to help him calm down. This brings me such joy because they too are finding these moments of togetherness with their younger brother. And they are growing their understanding of their brother and of other neuro-diverse people who they might know in their lives. Win-win!

So for our family massage has brought not only a new career for me but also helped us to find moments of peace and connection in what has otherwise been a very challenging period of time.

A quick disclaimer, I am not an occupational therapist nor am I qualified to instruct parents how to do massage with their ASC kids. This article is purely about our experience as a family.